just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse. I mean it was nice of him to care but really, why him?
“Um hey, Jake.”
“I know I’m not the person you really want to see right now but please if there’s anything I can do.”
“No, Jake, I—I’m fine, really.” I lied. I wasn’t fine epically after seeing him.
He smiled and leaned in to hug me I just went along.
“I know you probably hate me but I don’t care. I’m here for you, Grace, always. You never left my mind since that day in Chicago when I was out in the rain all alone. That was the worst day of my entire life.”
“You did that to yourself.” I turned around and started towards the grocery store.
“I know I did, but I’ve changed.” I turned back around.
“I love you just like I told you I would always love you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me”
How did our conversation turn into this? Not this, not now. I just lost my husband for heaven’s sake. Why did he have to come along? As if he was any consolation.
“Jake what are you doing?” I asked as if I didn't already know.
“I want another chance,”
at this moment I knew what any sensible, careless person would do; laugh in his face but despite what he did to me or how silly he sounded right now he deserved my attention. So I gave it to him.
“Do you think you could do that? Do you think you could find it in you to forgive me? I know what you’re thinking but as soon as you left me I went to church. I got saved and I never wanted to leave. I don’t know why I didn't do it sooner; so much weight has been lifted from my shoulders.” I smiled.
“That’s great and I'm happy for you. But I just lost someone very special to me and I'm not ready to get back out there yet. Not any time soon.”
Once again I walked toward the store.
“Please! Please, Grace, please!” he yelled.
When I turned around I could’ve have sworn I saw a tear wading in his eye but he dared not to let it fall.
“Just one more chance, I swear if I screw up this time I'll be out of your life forever, Please.”
“I can’t stand to be hurt again.”
“I won’t hurt you! I promise I'll never leave you or lie to you ever again if you just please give it one more try.”
The tear fell. He quickly wiped it away. But it didn't matter because right then I had plenty to match; he had me crying now.
“C’mon the man is begging just give him a chance or you might miss out on something great,” a passing-by customer said to me.
“Okay,” I told him and his face lit up as well as mine.
He picked me up and swung me around holding me so close I could barely breathe.
“I love you” he set me down and kissed me and it was then that I realized I never really stopped loving my first love.
10 years later
“Jamie, Sarah, time for dinner come sit down.”
I love dinner time it’s so old fashioned but I who doesn’t love the chance to talk to your family. I loved my family, I loved Jake and I loved my baby girls. They were three and a half now and extremely smart. They get that from Jake he has always been a smart guy.
“Ok who wants broccoli!” he said.
They all said “eww” of course.
They hated it but what kid didn't.
That night Jake and I lay in bed talking. We talked about everything from our past together to our past individually that we hadn’t talked about before. You would think after all the time we had been together we would have talked about everything already, but it would take longer than a lifetime to explain all the feelings and emotions and everything else we ever felt. Then we got on a painful subject I was praying with all my might that we would stay away from; death. I hated the subject but I loved the fact that if it was ever on my mind I could talk to Jake about it and me the same for him. We talked about when he had lost his best friend in the 8th grade. He had never told me about it because it was just too painful but he finally felt the need to tell me. His best friend want the only person Jake had lost, his mom and sister had died in a car wreck two years ago but he is still unable to talk about it. it was really hard for all of us especially Jake he is still getting over it. We never talked about Alex, and Jake knew better than to bring him up just like I knew not to talk about his mother or sister. I missed him a lot. I still can't believe he's gone. But I'm happy with Jake and I think Alex would be happy for me too. When Alex died I thought my life was over but that’s what I thought when I first left Jake too. It seems, though, that every time something good in my life falls apart it’s so something better can fall together. God really does work in mysterious ways.